It’s only a couple of days till Black Friday in Nigeria kicks off. Many Nigeria’s online stores are set to roll out as many as possible products to capture the mind of Nigerians to their products. Many experienced Black Rapture in the past awoof setups but as we prime ourselves for the next coming avalanche of awoof goods, while trying to avoid ‘Black Friday rapture’ (when someone else grabs the goods before you), here are some steps you can follow to ensure you hit it big.
Close early from work before the traffic demons are let loose
If you can’t close early, better sleep at the office or if you are student, you can sleep in the school environment to avoid distraction at home. Don’t allow the traffic demon to jam you on the way.
Secure fuel for your generator
Don’t just fill your tank, buy extra fuel and don’t eve, I repeat don’t ever rely on NEPA or else, NEPA won’t let you be great.
Secure at least 3 internet backup plans
It has come to our knowledge that, in a day like Black Fridays, internet services will not be reliable. So, to be a smart dude, subscribe to as many as possible data networks both foreign and local.
Stock the fridge with Gala and La Caser
No time to cook infact do not try to cook. Eat some light food and don’t over feed so you don’t sleep off.
By 9pm, call office that you are sick and won’t be in the office tomorrow
Don’t tell me you want to go to office on Black Friday. never.
Go to bed early. Set alarm
Don’t ever try to watch Black Friday highlight on Thursday night, go and sleep. If possible, set a time bomb alarm on your head.
Do not, we repeat, do not sleep on your bed (serious warning)
Do not try to sleep on your bed, it is very dangerous. Make sure you inconvenient yourself so that you can wake up early.
Do finger exercises for 2 hours
The fear of Black Friday rapture is the beginning of wisdom. You also don’t want those servers ‘crashing’ on you.
And lastly, at exactly 5:59 am, open your favourite online store’s website
And attack the F5 key continuously till you find what you’re looking for. Don’t wait! Keep striking, that is the magic.
That is all. We wish you good luck coming November 24. Note, awoof is not for everybody ok.
Disclaimer: If you followed all the above steps and still experienced ‘Black Friday rapture’, you didn’t do it right. We take no responsibility for your screw up. You better start binding and casting the people in your village.